Photo Matt. My name is Senior Frijoles, also known as Ocho Ocho.  I have been supporting Ben on his last few weeks of racing.  He has been slacking on his el blogo so I am going to update you on his muy caliente adventures with the destroyer.

Racing in Iowa City this year was one night and two days.  Friday night was el loco.  Racers were crossing the finish line covered in more dirt than a drunken frat party foxy mud lucha libre match.  He pedaled his bicicleta muy rapido and finished 11th.  He missed out on his Union Cycliste Internationale point by one place and I gave him a good beating for not going fast enough.    I rubbed his muscles into submission after the savage whipping though to be ready for the next two days.  Saturday and Sunday went well, with good finishes.  The small mountain hurt his legs very much but he did well. 

He did write up something and posted it here, I tried to get it published in my local paper, because he is much faster than most of the local eight year olds, but the paper was very non happy with the bad spelling.  From the sidelines I shouted much encouraging slogans to make him faster and got druken locals to show him their butts with no pants on. It worked, he cycled very close to big time legend Ned Overend for a couple laps, but his superior years bested Ben in the end.  Sunday was very no bueno for me, with cold winds and clouds.  I stayed in the hot tub at the hotel and coached Ben with my long distance race radio.  I encouraged him by telling him the mountain knew how tired he was and to pound it into submission through his pedals.  He said he took a big drink of an energy drink called "Busch Light" on the last lap and he had a very strong finish.  I was proud of his trying.

Seven days later we got on an airo plane-o to go to the epic land of Portland.  I went out and payed many dollars for rain cloths because everyone told me there would be floods in Oregon, but there were no clouds in the sky during our stay.  Very disappointing because I have not seen rain in many days.  It was very cold and there was no hot tub.  I brought Ben a very fantastic-o costume so he could match the epicness of Portland, but he refused to wear it.  He said it was not PRO, even though the costumes we see on the TV where I'm from make the Cross Crusade Reality Show the most popular in the ocho time slot.  He kept asking in a bad voice if I thought "Katie Fuckin' Compton would wear a costume to the USGP?" I kept telling him I could get her one if she forgot hers in Europe.

I have never heard of cyclocross racing on a moto-cross track before, but Ben insisted that he loved it.  He went mucho muy fast off the start line, but it was not fast enough.  He had very much courage though, I insist on beatings of my elite riders instead of massage with muy bueno endings.  It makes them strong like my other elite lucha libre stars.  So as he went in long circles around the course many of the other racers he was passing.  He finished the race in 31st on Saturday which I thought was good and scheduled a special beating.  Sunday was much colder, so I had to wear his costume over my own.  He legs did not give him as fast pedalling power as he wanted, but he still finished good in my heart at 34th.  There were some guys originally from a place called Madison on the course banging on all sorts of garbage cheering for Ben, I like them muy muy bueno.  They could be excellente lucha libre stars if they tried, but my contracts did not interest them very good.

The elite champion match of cyclocross USA nationals was in Bend Oregon.  I made sure to make accommodations at a mountain top mansion in advance so Ben could spend hours on the indoor cycling machine for some emergency altitude training.  He said he wanted to stay with his team mates though close to the course, so I stayed in in the mountains most of the time.  I did come down to watch his match, but I think he might be motivated to tell you about it himself.  He was number 88 and started in the middle of all the fast racers in the supermen category.  He made me much proudo in his racing performance.  I am very excited to start him on his training beatings and death intervals next week at our top secret training camp in the deserts of Morocco.  He will be my money man next year.  My teams attorney Laslo is advising me to talk nothing more.  I need to go get the boob out of my scotch.

Portland is great, I raced well, and maybe I'll even manage to post something about the three days in Iowa too.  But more importantly, congrats to Mike Kelly, Supergirl, and being awesome.

Photo from here.  I love racing in Chicago.  Every person on the line I feel I can call a good guy and racing buddies.  The jokes, the laughs. the great competition.  The last month has been spent racing in Chicago and it has been one of the better months of racing.  My results were pretty steady and the fun quotient was through the roof.

We left off after the awesome course and race in Northbrook.  Next up was some Saturday racing at a golf resort in the western suburbs.  Lucky for the the golf course, it was fairly dry.  When we raced in Cincinnati on a golf course I am pretty sure the golf course was destroyed.  Anyway, I had a great start, but was immediately having trouble with the first set of barriers.  I fell a couple times, but I also rode the sand pits every lap. 

I love sand pits and these were some of the best by far.  Because they were bunkers for golf, you had to drop in and pop out of them.  And the first one I would ride into super fast and skip the first 8 or 9 feet of sand by launching in.  The second one had a turn and a super technical step out of it.  So much fun.  There was very little time on the course to get bored.  I had a great time.  There was also some sweet partying and cheap beer at the hotel pool before and after the race which made it a real race weekend.

Woodstock was the next and my final stop on the Chicago Cross Cup schedule.  It wasn't my best race.  But I did happen to get tangled in the most awesome way on the run up.  On the second or third lap, making the turn into the run up, I washed out and in the process dropped my chain.  Well, I ran up over the barrier and stopped on the side of the course to fix my chain.  Well, somehow, while I was fixing that I got my handlebars wrapped up in a folding chair.  I tried to shake it off in a mounting frustrated frenzy, but soon, things were way worse, so I sat down for a second in another chair next to the course.  Collected I got everything righted, but not until Hemme got around me.  On that flat open course, as long as he kept pedaling, his super power was nothing I could match.

I love the cup.  I cheered on the next couple races in a bunny suit and handed up beers.  It was a damn good time and just the kind of racing I needed before three weeks of travel.  I am so freaking excited for Oregon!

 That photo was taken by Josh.  If you want to see a even better picture click on this!  A metric sh!t ton has happened in the last couple weeks and it has sort of revolved around becoming unemployed.  It isn't the end of the world, I do have the most amazing athletic supporter around, but it means that some motivations have fizzled.  Like the internet, and thus my blog.  Alas!  I will make up for my 2 week absence by cramming all of the awesome into this one post.

Let's start at the beginning.  We traveled up to Wisconsin a couple weeks ago to race the Halloweeen race in Washington Park.  It is always a sweet course and has great spectators.  Well, somehow because of the course and start line movement, I got the whole shot and led everyone around for half of a lap before Tristan destroyed the filed.  Then things went to shit and I finished worse than I should have.  And to top it off I had a very bad attitude about it.  So on Sunday, I put myself on time out and instead of racing, I heckled and fed people pie as they raced.  It was a great time and totally helped me remember that I need to not take myself so freaking seriously.

Then midweek, I was one of the podium men at Half Acre's women's night.  It was a ton of fun, where I got to walk around practically naked and hand out chocolate to most of Chicago's women's bike racing community.  See link above.

This past weekend we raced in Northbrook.  Despite the over bearing department of parks and recreation, the course was awesome.  One fast barrier and one slow as hell barrier, forcing a fun up.  The twisty, tacky dirt section through the trees.  Those crazy off-camber turns.  The sweeping fast field section.  SAND!!!  I loved that course.  It was a great race.  I love the first lap with Conant and his moves and then trying to keep up with Scott who is killing it this year!  I took a strong second place and then stayed and cheered people on.

Tonight is a pool party and cheep beer evening out at the resort the venue is being held at.  I am very excited for cannon balls and the hot tub.  There is a big purse tomorrow, so I kind of hope to take home some cash dollas, but at the same time I have no clue who will show up because of the purse and thus, I am counting on a 5th or 6th palce finish.  Still in the money, still fast.  I hope there are lots of sand traps.

OH! And this is VERY VERY important.  Note the bold.  This week and next are the last two Chicago races Julie and I will be present at.  And I already have some candidates for it, but I am taking notes for the 2009 Illinois State Cyclocross Awesomeness Champion Trophy Award.  Bribes will not be accepted and technically I am the only judge, although there is a panel who votes and ties are broken in a whiskey drinking challenge between the skinniest person on the panel (likely me) and myself.  I pride myself in the judging being fair and impartial, so if you want to see who gets the trophy this year, be present at the final race at Montrose harbor on December 6th.  It will be awarded by my fine friends at Half Acre Cycling because i will be racing my bike in Portland at the USGP.